i guess it just boils down to the simple desire to be understood. accepted maybe even, as a cherry on the cake, but understood mainly.
earlier on today i was thinking about what made my relationships feel so strained, so hard. i have a few friends, no love-life, and i speak to my mother at least once a week.
her words of advice to me, a while ago, were that i should just be {more} pleasant to others, if i wanted to either hang on to or forge new friendships. i had mentioned the slow deterioration of the ones i've been having, my longest running friend having 'deserted' me a few months before. my dad was still around at this time, and he kept quiet, as he always did whenever my mum got into one of her advice-modes with me. i had not sought her advice, just wanted to mention to her the state of play in my life. i keep underestimating her ideas of me, reckoning apparently {as she's been on the receiving end of} that i'm a tough cow who doesn't go round pleasing people. like she does. she has friends...