introspection

was very pleased to read an article in my online newspaper about the relative merits of being an introvert, as opposed to the almost constant promoting of the Extrovert Ideal, as it has been called. I keep having a sort of love/hate relationship with my own introversion, having had it pumped into me that i should be more outgoing, and try to be more social... Scared witless by my happiness to just sit and read, or stare out of the window, being very happy with my own company, my mother thought it would help if she'd 'encourage' me to fit in more with my peers. It only encouraged me to feel completely out of place, unhappy in my own skin and i spent far more energy that i ought to on fitting in, not on developing my interests...

When at college, i read about the personality types that Carl Jung wrote of, i felt the jolt of recognition, but also knew {feared, rather} that if i carried on being an introvert, i'd lead a very secluded life, and i mostly wanted to be accepted, appreciated, approved of, so i almost consciously decided to hide my introverted self, even though it didn't suit me a lot of the time... I can be outgoing and gregarious, in small bursts... Just not all the time...

Maybe the time is right now to embrace my real self, the quiet me, be happy to contemplate and not feel weird or guilty...

picture form the film never let me go