black hole {son}




back in the days that i got to know about Nirvana, and then Pearl Jam, it seemed like Music was finally not just fantastic to listen to {as an emerging adolescent} - these bands had the same feeling of alienation, of not getting society and it's pull to make everyone The Same. this lot, that i was getting to know in the early 1990's, was different. they were real...

up until then my music taste was pretty varied. i listened to The Beatles, R.E.M. and U2, and Prince and Talking Heads. i liked a few popsongs, enjoyed Sting, The Who, CCR, the Replacements, Tom Petty, Neil Young.... i also liked Guns and Roses, a bit, for their loudness, but something in me couldn't really get on with their 'image' - they seemed to try too hard, to be too contrived... but their music was okay...

this all faded to a boring nothing when i heard Smells Like Teen Spirit, and a bit later Alive - before i really knew what was going on i was sucked into both bands, loved what they were about, what they seemed to stand for, they way their music seemed to encompass so much of the chaos and the variety that i felt was going on inside of me. Seattle had it going on, that much i knew.

from Seattle were many other bands, and Soundgarden was one of them. a bit too loud for my liking and their singer, Chris Cornell, a bit too cocky and pretty rock-boy {...}, but they seemed to go as a job lot with Pearl Jam, though i never got into them really...

a few years ago PJ celebrated their 20 years as a band with a documentary, in which much archived material was used {some of their mates had camera's they carried everywhere with them}, and the friendliness and joy these guys felt for what they did, and each other, as bands, was so sweet, so wonderful to see. Cornell was a big part of their early days - a mentor, and the 'big brother' to Eddie Vedder, who was shit-scared of being centre stage, and to the other guys who'd lost their best buddy and lead singer a year or so before to drugs, and lost the will to make music anymore. he pulled them through, with his calmness and wisdom, and presence, and the rest is beautiful {rock} history...

he seemed like a lovely bloke, looking back. in the PJ20 doc i saw a lovely guy, a rock, a wise and sweet man... i didn't know that... i'm still getting to know Soundgarden, bit by bit, and from what i read from people who loved him from those early days, or gotten to know him along the way, and got him, in the way that i got Eddie Vedder {i think...}. i don't feel the same sense of deep devastation that he's gone, but i totally get that people do... he was real... he was one of the few that stayed real...

but the sad thing, for me, was that he was one of the good guys, and he too suffered with depression, with being too sensitive and kind, in a hard, harsh world that has no time for the likes of him, and Kurt and too many others that we've lost along the way... the kind, gentle, sweet guys...

what kind of {fucking} world......???

so yeah... feeling kind of weird... one of the faces of my time, one of the voices, one of the greats, has felt the need to go...

thanx man...
about time i got to know your work...




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