then i had a pretty clear insight that told me i was an idiot for not even trying, that i allowed myself to not have the awesome experiences i crave, because something in me will always sabotage this, out of some stupid self-preservation strategy... i was so angry with myself, so bloody pissed off, to have allowed myself to not even try to get tickets {had i not learnt anything about my dad passing away, how many chances he's let go cos he was worried about the consequences... not to mention Chris Cornell's death hitting me like a tonne of bricks...} so i made myself have another go, less than week before he would be opening in Amsterdam. and via the fanclub i managed to find someone who wanted to sell a second ticket for the Tuesday show, dithered for a few seconds, got told off by my oldest son {who was in the same house for a change} for dithering, and plumped for the ticket...
and so came last Tuesday, and i had a delightful evening, in the presence of so many like-minded fans, singing away to Pearl Jam songs, his solo-stuff, The Beatles {"HEYY!! you've got to hide your love away..."}, Dylan, and his voice cut right through me, right to my soul... this man, whom i fell in love with when i was 22, who is still the love of my life {or rather: again...}, was finally so close to me... both physically and spiritually... and he was in such great spirits!!
so, although the heavy emotion from the Saturday wasn't there, and he wasn't as sharp as he'd liked to have been, i'm so f*&^%ing grateful to have been there... ♥
♥
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| EV early nineties |
♥
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| EV May 2017 ♥ |
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