one of my birthday presents was a little book i received from my ex. it was probably meant as a little silly thing, something that seemed appropriate to him, and a giggle to me when i opened it. the book was called How To Live Like Your Cat, by Stephane Garnier, and translated from French. it somehow was the exact thing that i needed...
in it, he describes how cats are unencumbered by thoughts about how they ought to behave, what others think about them, are convinced they're amazing and should be treated like royalty, rest when they feel like it and other things that we, as humans, could learn something from. the more i read the book, the more i appreciate my 2 cats, and i already appreciated them enormously...
somehow this ties in with what i'm reading in another book, The Greatest Secret, by Rhonda Byrne {she of The Secret}, as she's trying to get across the notion that we are Awareness, and that unencumbered by Ego and Thoughts, our lives would be amazing and easy.
like so many others, i was bowled over by The Secret, when i first came across it many years ago. there was a simple solution to all my problems... all i had to do was think Positively, be Grateful, and Everything would fall into place. and it kind of did... the magic that i had noticed when i was younger seemed to be back, what i thought about wanting to happen happened, but just as easily as certain things manifesting, so hard and difficult were other parts of my life. the patterns of thought and convictions i had developed in my childhood kept getting in the way, rearing their ugly heads... and they just were not shifting. for every one i let go, another one appeared. however hard i tried, however much therapy i did {and i did so many!! i've done art therapy, acupuncture, hypnotherapy, reiki, Sedona Method, Ho'oponopono, tapping, asking my spirit guides to help me, read books by an enormous amount of people on this}, the Doubt and Anxiety seemed to not want to shift permanently...
most of us have grown up with the belief that it matters what we are. we spend vast amounts of our years honing down our identities. it matters what we look like, how we dress, who we listen to, what films we enjoy seeing, where we go on holiday, who our friends are, how we express ourselves, what work we do, who we vote for... it matters, cos it helps to create Who We Are... even if we reckon it doesn't... if i enjoy listening to Pearl Jam, and watch Wes Anderson films, and go on holiday in England, and drive a 19 year old car, and am interested in witchcraft, and have left leaning political ideologies, it must mean X... it makes me Who I Am... it matters, cos i'm easy to understand. to myself, and to others. my anxiety and fears are also part of my identity. i'm someone who worries about this, and is convinced about that, and feels strongly about something else - cos that's who i am...
but what if it doesn't? what if i stop believing that? what if i stop being convinced that X is true, or that Y is important to me? what if i let go of the notion that i'm left-leaning in my political beliefs? what if i let go of the belief that there even IS a Left and Right? that the Left is what i agree with? or that Wes Anderson films are great`? or that i'm someone who owns a 19 year old car? or that i'm anything other than Awareness, and not my thoughts... nothing is real... yet everything is true...
Saartje just caught a fly, with total focus and concentration, and ate it. now she's on the sofa asleep, happy and completely at peace.
