the last 18 months have made it clear to me that we're in a strange phase in this world's development. while hero after hero turned out to be a frightened follower of a new, weird, fearful dogma, other folks i never expected to be, appeared a lot more awake and questioning - something my friend Mo and i were talking about the other day. and while most people around me are allowing themselves to be joyfully and gratefully {??} injected with a substance nobody really knows the long-term effects of, in the name of supposed freedom and health, so am i letting myself be poisoned by anxiety about the future... anxiety about the lives of my loved ones, anxiety about the way the world is becoming. anxiety about the things i thought were certain that are changing, or disappearing...
but still all my teachers keep reiterating how important it is to be happy. only happy lives are lived through happy thoughts... so i stopped watching tv, i stopped using certain social media, i stopped contact with certain people, and i only followed people i was almost certain were NOT going to mention the situation, were going to stick to happy, joyful, positive messages i could get behind, that would help me to find a new place in this weird world full of scared and uncritical masses... but news of the world kept coming through anyway, so every now and then my anxiety flares up, creates tension in my guts, makes fear an unwanted part of my life.
almost all of my {one time} 'heroes' {don't really like the word} are socially aware, liberal minded, kind people. they seemed to be the ones who were going to change the world, or at least be on the right side of history. they claimed to be for freedom of thought, freedom of expression, freedom in health choices. apparently this was only so when the world was not in the grips of a 'pandemic'... now the tables are turned - they seem quite fine with censorship and forcing a medical dictatorship, ridiculing anyone who questions what is going on now...
knowing this has added to my sense of confusion and anxiety. what is even Right and Wrong anymore?? who is still to be believed? who can i still trust in all this?
myself...
only i, my inner voice, my Higher Self, can be believed and trusted... i know this notion puts me right up with the weirdos and the mentally unstable, but i believe this is true. only I can know what is good for me. not a government that has been proven time and time again to be crooked, malleable by those with money, not a science that has been proven to be equally malleable by those with money, not doctors who are sponsored by the pharmaceutical industry... ultimately it is down to me...
so i chose to be ignorant about the situation, about how the world is changing, and let the people who are also ignorant and blissful find me, as they will. as i will find them...
cos, Once I Decide That I Want A Good Life, The Universe Will Start Moving Things For Me To Have It. The People I Need Will Happen, Doors I Need Open Will Be Unblocked... Once I Truly, Sincerely Decide, Miracles Will Happen...
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