fifteen minutes to go

We are afraid of truth, afraid of fortune, afraid of death, and afraid of each other. Our age yields no great and perfect persons 

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Last year i did the writing challenge that was devised 

by the good people of trust30, 

an organisation that sets about to keep the thoughts
and beliefs that R.W. Emerson, 

a thinker and do-er form a few centuries back, alive.

This challenge was set out to get people
to think about their lives 

as they are now, and could possibly be changed,
through {daily} writing excercises...

i decided to do them again, in English this time, 

and weekly rather than daily, 

see what comes out almost a year on...

todays' challenge:

You just discovered you have fifteen minutes to live. 

Set a timer for fifteen minutes. 

Write the story that has to be written.

Life's too short to be wasted on silly nonsense...
Yet a lot of the things i do is pretty silly...
Watching stupid clips on Youtube, having arguments with the kids about the clutter in their rooms, fretting over feelings and the lack of certain things in my life... Why do it?

Cos that's what i've been trained to do, by the best trainer i had in my life: my mother... 

And i can see that it brings nothing of value, no happiness, no joy, just tension...

And if there's one thing i should've learnt - almost a year ago now - is that life is so precious... And it can be over, just like that...

Thing is, i have spent most of last year figuring out what it is that i really want to do, who i really want to be with, and although the answers are there, the guts to execute them, to live by them escapes me... and yeah, i admire people who can follow their hearts, do what they feel is the right thing to do for them, i feel a failure for not being able to do the same...

Maybe i judge myself too harshly - the time isn't right, things aren't falling into place as they would do if the time was right, and i know that as soon as the time is right, things will happen, but my level of patience is too low to accept that for now....

{well, actually, time's running out, i've only got 5 more minutes...}

So:

 live, enjoy, love, feel, relax, be patient... 
Be happy with what you have... 
Do silly things...