30 days writing {7} do more of

life is what happens when you're busy making other plans ~John Lennon

Life wastes itself while we are preparing to live. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

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If you had one week left to live, would you still be doing what you’re doing now? 

In what areas of your life are you preparing to live? 

Take them off your To Do list and add them to a To Stop list. 

Resolve to only do what makes you come alive.

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{what's with all this 'You Only Have One Week/fifteen minutes/three years to live' malarkey?! as if the velocity of life is only clear with threats like that...}

if i had one week to live i'd be in a depression, i think, wondering what i could be doing to make that last week as useful and wonderful as possible, spend time with and say farewell to my dearest... 

but i guess that's not the purpose of this exercise... 

would i still be doing the inane stuff that makes up my days on this planet? i don't know... i'd be tempted to say i'd be doing far more interesting stuff, things that would fill my heart with joy and glee and happiness. would i go to work still? not sure... in a bit of a doubting Thomas kind of mood...

would i be living here? i'd prefer not to, but i know i'm a chicken and wouldn't give up my comfortable life in a warm house for a life in a small campervan, or a ramshackle cottage in the woods or by the seaside... in whatever country... not on my own... 

what makes me come alive then... let's go there for a bit...

* reading certain books {mostly about those who have lived lives i know i never will - devouring this one at the moment}

* listening to music

* being by the sea

* being still for amounts of time

* sitting with the cats {which can be enormously meditative}

* writing {letters, stories, bits & pieces}

* being in certain company {there are a few people who i can spend time with and feel delighted to be in their company, listening to who they are, sharing some of my foibles & notions}

* creating stuff {usually for someone or something - i'm not someone that makes stuff just for the hell of it... haven't got that inner drift, which has somehow nestle into my subconscious as being 'necessary' to be happy, or whatever...}

suppose it boils down to Communicating my inner voice and Receiving communications of others... now, let's meditate on that for while...

30 days writing {6} travel

if we truly live, we shall truly see - R.W. Emerson

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not everyone has a desire to travel the world, but everyone can think of a place they'd one day like to visit before they die. what is this place for you and what do you do to make this possible?

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there are quite a few place on this earth that i would love to be able to go to, for one reason or another. for a long time it was England, and it's many different area's that had a strange pull on me {or rather: The British Isles, as would be better, cos it includes Wales and Scotland}. also Scandinavia still has a kind of pull, although that hasn't been very strong lately. and for some strange reason Germany calls me... but the strongest one in the last year or so has been North West America. No idea why {apart from the Pearl Jam/Nirvana/it seems like a wonderful place to be for a while connections that Seattle has} but whenever i see pictures of the beautiful parks and mountains in Washington State, or Canada, or Alaska, something inside of me starts yelling... maybe it's the vastness of the north American landscape, the ability it has to make you feel puny and insignificant... maybe i need that in my life, i don't know...

maybe i also want to know what it is that Eddie Vedder and Kurt Cobain and Neil Young {who's Canadian} and Joni Mitchell {also from Canada} and Crosby Stills and Nash and all those others that i admire, have in their core, the thing that makes them the way they are, cos they have lived in that country, the place that i think i understand, but have not really felt {in the three days that i was in Wisconsin i didn't experience that much, mainly airports and a tiny shopping mall, and i don't think that Madison counts...}.

having lived in England made me sort of get the British bands that i love to listen to - i get what Arctic Monkeys are singing about, i think, to a certain level, and i see where the Beatles and The Stones, The Jam and The Clash and The Smiths got their inspiration from, i get what makes British Arts the way it is... the diversity, the status-clashes, the class-divisions, the history... it makes sense... and i guess i'd like to now what Being In America does to a person...

having Not Lived In Holland for some years has made it hard for me to live here, i guess... but since i had the pull to leave since way before i ever set foot in England, maybe it's an innate escape mechanism at work...  who knows...

what do i do to make it possible? dream about it... cos you have to start somewhere, and all else will fall into place...

canada

cumbria, UK

Glenfinnan, Scotland

een meer in Washington State, USA

New England, USA

30 days writing {5} post it

that what any man can do well, he learnt from no other than the almighty {cosmos}. where is the master that taught Shakespeare? who had taught Franklin, or Newton, or Bacon? You will never write like Shakespeare by studying Shakespeare. do what you are supposed to do, and do not ask or hope for too much... ~R.W. Emerson

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determine what is your biggest challenge at this moment, form it into a question, 

write this on a piece of paper and hang it where you can see it. 

after 48 hours you start writing down the answers that come on your path, 

and evaluate them.

post your question on your blog {optional}

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how can i know a way to live the life i enjoy and make more than enough money to live on and travel with? oh, and that life-companion* would be awesome... 

*{the Universe knows what i mean...}

also cast your eyes on Kati's blog

30 day writings {4} i believe

“It is easy to live within the world after it's opinion; it is easy in solitude to live after our own; but the great man is he who in the midst of the crowd keeps with perfect sweetness the independence of solitude.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson

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The world is driven by passionate spirits, powerful ideas, and fearless actions. 

What is a strong belief that you possess what is not shared by friends and family? 

What inspires your faith, and what have you done to actively respond to it?

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there are quite a few, i feel, cos there are times that i feel i've been dropped into the 'wrong' family {and i know that in The Universe there is no right or wrong to start with, only Lessons...}. the biggest one for me was the one that got the most resistance back in the days, and that is: Love Is Everywhere... 

love was seen as a luxury commodity, something that only the lucky few were going to have, and anyway: what's love got to do with it? who needs a heart when a heart can be broken... {yes, i know Tina Turner wrote that, but it might as well have been my mum for all i knew... as could Mr G, for that matter...}

i remember writing it on my pen bag {as one was wont to do in those days, i'm talking 1986 now...}, that I Love Everybody!! and my mother saw it and went white around the gills... You better watch out, was her reaction... people might take that the wrong way {and abuse your good nature, which she didn't actually say, but i'm sure she meant}... which i suppose got me an insight in what she must've gone through during her childhood. if love is to be mistrusted, or in this case: misinterpreted for Power, then yes, by all means, don't share it around like you would sweeties... but i wasn't raised like she was... i was raised by loving, though very anxious and often scared, people who wanted the best for me, who hoped for a great life for me and my brother, who wished that my life was void of drama and i'd get chances that they never had... and i did, and for that I will always be grateful...

another one: i don't have to be stuck in a life i don't enjoy... i have the power to change things... {we all do, of course...}. this was actually something i noticed in my late teens, when things that i 'asked' for kept happening... my life seemed easy, somehow, but a kind of mistrust took over and i stopped believing in my 'magical powers', and now i'm having to devour books and vids to get my mojo back... very annoying, and it would be great if i could just feel the same kind of 'trust' in the Universe as i did back in 1989... maybe i can... maybe i'm just overcomplicating stuff... 

so there we go... Love is everywhere, and i don't have to be stuck... wake up and smell the roses, woman... 

also read along with Kati

30 day writings {3} one line

your genuine actions will explain themselves, as will your reactions to the genuine actions of others. your conformism will explain nothing. the force of character is accumulative ~ R.W. Emerson 

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if "the voyage of the best ship is a criss cross line of a hundred points" 

then it is more sincere to be present today than it is to be stuck in many yesterdays. 

how would you describe today, using only one sentence?

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{as much i as would love to say that this thing makes sense, i can't... i will however attempt to write something...}

today is another attempt at trying to live by my truth; to feel my boundaries and not let them be crossed by those i do not want in my {emotional} vicinity; to comfort and help my {beautiful} inner child; to move forward from what i thought i should've been, even i, even after all these years; to find out what it is i really REALLY want, where i really want to be, who i want to be with, and revel in life's magnificent offerings!!! 

to see how Kati gets on, read her blog

30 days writing {2} fifteen minutes

We are afraid of truth, afraid of fortune, afraid of death, and afraid of each other. Our age yields no great and perfect persons. —Ralph Waldo Emerson

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You just discovered you have fifteen minutes to live.

1. Set a timer for fifteen minutes.

2. Write the story that has to be written.

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{i remember thinking this was pretty daft the first time around: as if i'd be writing stuff down if I only had 15... but for the sake of this exercise, her goes:}

there once was a woman who lived in Holland, even though she really really wanted to live somewhere else... England to be precise, but she accepted that her lack of self-worth made her live in a place that she loathed, and The Universe was waiting for her to give the right signals so it could make her go back there... 

i digress...

this woman who lived in Holland had 4 kids, and two cats and was fairly happy with her life. fairly, cos she felt there were a few bits missing, only she had no idea how to Magic them into her life, like she was taught by so many books and youtube-clips... it just wasn't happening... so she was leading a life of half-happy, of almost there... would it ever really be possible? was she just too wrapped up in thoughts about Not Enough and If Only's...

forgetting that at least she wasn't living in Nepal, or Syria, or Afghanistan, where she had nothing to want but to not be killed by idiots... just because she was a woman.. or that she lived in these times, where she wasn't ruled by a church or some blithering idiot bastard who...

hmm... bit negative all this...

there once was a lovely woman who lived in a beautiful little house in the country {England!!!!}, where she was surrounded by Nature, and her two cats leapt around in the high grass and she drank coffee in her beautiful, flower-filled garden, listening to her kids playing badminton and crazy cricket in the background, and the man of he dreams {who looked rather like Eddie Vedder and Alan Rickman and David Crosby {?!} put together and made her extortionately happy} walked up to her to kiss her on the cheek and ask what she wanted for lunch and Gary the Golden retriever wandered along to drop a ball by her feet cos he wanted to play... the woman had just finished another chapter of the book she was writing, her third, after having published two that were pretty successful, and knew she would be writing some more later, but first there was lunch with her wonderful partner, and then they were going to make the camper van ready for the trip up to Edinburgh the had been planning for months now, visiting a few nice places along the way....

time's up...

  

Kati is also doing the challenge

30 day writings {1} writers

another challenge piled on top of the other one: Kati and I will re-do a version of the Emerson Writing challenge, which we did about 4 years ago. see what's changed. see what's exactly the same. interesting, i hope. we hope...

so here goes:

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Which book has inspired you the most and why? Why did you think one day: that's what I want to do, to write. Do you have a book of which you think: I wish I could do that too, inspire people, that man or woman has brought me so much joy reading. 

I would so much want to be able to do that as well; publish a book. 

How do you think you can accomplish that?

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hm... interesting one to start with straight away. there isn't one book, not even one writer that got me to write, but i guess there was a time in my life when it dawned on me that i don't need to be the next Big Name, or have studied Literature, or have a degree in anything to allow myself to Write... i have a degree in Being Me, and if the urge to write takes me then i'll write. for far too long i've allowed myself to be swayed or convinced that the standard some men have set {and still seem to do} is what any writer should aspire to be. 

when the kids were small, and i had time to read again, i discovered some female writers in the English Language section of my local library. not the chick-lit, but women who've lived. my dear friend in England had given me a copy of a book she thought i might like and i was hooked. Margaret Forster turned out to write in a very inspiring way, and engaging, and i carried on finding another 5 of her novels, which all gripped me. then i discovered another few women who seemed to be more like the woman i was - unglamorous, curious, slightly mocking of Normal Life, in need of love and Adventure... 

those women, their styles of writing, their funny, 'easy' way with words, planted a seed in me, and i tried my hand at writing my own things. and i discovered that i love it!! :-) whether it's good enough for publishing is a different matter all together... we shall see about that!!

a writing room i'd not turn my nose up to

read along with Kati's challenge as well

100 days, 100 words {25}

the other day it dawned on me that {i too} have been trying my level best to be a Square Peg in the Round Hole that is Expectation… and as I had no idea how to be a Round Peg, I’ve been so busy trying to cram myself into that hole, completely closing my eyes to the fact that I am not, and never will be, a Round Peg…

I’m a Square Peg. which is fine… I have my own qualities, and those who can’t deal with that can go %$#@ themselves…

I’m a beautiful, great, loving, creative, dreamy Square…

100 days, 100 words {24}

with my blogger-friend Kati i will take up a 30-day writing-challenge, as we both fancied doing something to wake our Selves up a little, to answer difficult questions, to Figure Stuff Out... we both did one a few years back, inspired by Waldo Emerson {American thinker from around 200 years ago}, a tool in one’s voyage of Self-discovery, and even more important: self-reliance… 

and because we can’t come up with anything ourselves, we thought it might be nice to re-take the challenge from 2011, seen as Stuff has happened in our lives since then…

here goes nothing {as from Monday}…

100 words, 100 days {#20, 21 & 22}

{one way to get through this challenge!! J }

yesterday my friend Mo and Pops and myself went to Antwerp. this is my to-go-to-place, just over the border into Belgium, to get away from Too Much Dutch… Antwerp is cosmopolitan, arty, crazy, very old-fashioned, dirty, unpredictable, colourful, shallow – a bit like myself, really {*on the floor laughing…*} and every so many months I need a bit of it, to get Holland and it’s dull predictability out of my system… clarity and efficiency is fine, but not for too long… not for me, anyway…

so off we went, in Mo’s car, and got stuck in a traffic jam, just before we turned off for the city, which we reached after what felt like forever, but there was plenty to talk about since the last time we nattered, so it never felt like forever…

once there we walked, and talked and saw and smiled and questioned and giggled, and flirted and dressed up, and wondered and laughed loudly, and ate and drank and wondered some more… we enjoyed the arts that we saw in the street, in shop windows, in tiny galleries, in unusual spaces, and talked to total strangers, were amazed by the beauty we saw in unexpected corners, the expressions of somebody’s thoughts, somebody’s creativity, chiselled out of stone, carved out of wood, made from plaster or plastic… we discussed our notions, informed what we knew, and ate the most wonderful cheesecake while drying out from the deluge we managed to {narrowly} escape from, hiding underneath the awning of a small restaurant.

Back home we were tired and ate omelette, and watched tv, looked at the photo’s we’d made to remember a lovely day out in a blustery city near the Schelde… I am so grateful for days like these…

100 words, 100 days {#17, 18 & 19}

{this will probably count as cheating, if i was going to read the rules, but I’m in this world to make up my own rules – in these kinds of things – so it’s okay… cos I say so…}

It’s a full moon tonight, which always makes me feel kind of funny, like the Witch inside of me wants to break out and fly around on her broom, cast spells on the people I have an issue with {so it’s probably good that I haven’t mastered that one as yet…} and stuff like that…

I’ve always had a Thing for the Moon… I love the Moon, its power and its differing shapes, its part in stories and fairy tales. It still looms large in my life, as each time there is a full moon, I tend to have rubbish sleeps, if I sleep at all…

Of course, the Moon has many connections to older beliefs, Paganism for instance, to rituals and the way we live, still, and there are days that I remember what it is, that I ought to be doing something with my gemstones for instance {put them in the light of the moon, or not…}, but most of the time I just forget, I sit and watch that huge round orb-thing in the sky and wonder about the world, and myself and if I will ever get to grips with my intuitive side or whatever…

As I will tonight, when sleep won’t come and something to do with its pull will keep me awake, and I will be a basket case tomorrow… {luckily most customers in the wholefood shop where I work are familiar with the funny things the moon can do… maybe one of them can explain to me what it is I ought to be doing…}